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So um, I have a request today! Pokemon eggs. Is anyone interested in taking any off our hands? I uh.. My Pokemon and Dave's Pokemon decided to leave us a bunch this morning, and we didn't find them until we came back from training, and.. well, we aren't going to raise nineteen Pokemon, that would be insane!

[Moving the feed from herself to point at her bed, the eggs are all neatly arranged with cards beneath the respective bunch or single.] If you have trouble reading the writing, I can let you know which Pokemon is which. I can definitely say from what.. little I've researched about breeding, that the Growlithe and Solosis eggs should be really powerful once they hatch! Both had parents of the same species together and all.

We do want them to go to nice homes overall, so I'm not too interested in charging any money; just take care of them and we'll call it good, alright?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If my kids were doing it. They could have at it. Shag like bunnies in the spring. Parents aren't supposed to make sure their kids are screwing. That's creepy.

So if your kids got human pregnant, you wouldn't want to be told? I will make sure that I tell your future children this! So when the baby comes, you can't complain! [Terezi has no idea how actual pregnancy works though.]

Yes. But not while they're doing the deed. That's private shit I don't want to hear. [Ignoring the rest of this. Oh boy is he ignoring it. Oh my god.]

But you didn't hear it! You just found the remnants after!

That's the point! I'm cool with that. It's the hearing the whole process that would bug me. Then I'd have to shotgun dad on someone and that's never pretty.

Shotgun dad? Please elaborate to me what that entails! I am not a master of your human culture and sayings, Dave!

Most male Lusus are really protective of their offspring, Terezi. Like we get really suspicious of any possible suitor. They got to go through tests and shit.

Tell me about these tests and trials they must go through. [Why did you start her.] I would like to know more of your culture so perhaps I can adapt them myself.

It depends on the dad. Like Bro for example, that requires a strife at the very least.

Your lusus does like strifing! There were many strifes in your timeline.

Hey, strifes keep a guy pretty sharp. It's what I needed and what proves to him you're ready.

Trolls are quite adept at strifing. Better than you silly humans!

Oh come on, let's not get into humans and trolls which is superior crap. For one it's false, two it's just stupid.

It's not false or stupid. It's just kind of a thing that exists because our society is specifically built on survival of the fittest! Also, your skin is squishy remember? Pink and squishy and kind of sucks at this taking cold business!

But humans have qualities that do surpass our own! But we're built on fighting. It's pretty much if you can't really fight, you might as well be dead! [They've done some pretty fucked up shit before they ever met up with the kids. Not that she's ever fully talked about any of that.] Let's be honest. Not all humans are really adept at fighting!

You're talking to someone who was raised to fight. Which is my point, in this case it isn't about survival of the fittest. Operating on a different law system. [Yeah, they don't talk much about the fucked up shit. Or the whole...quadrant crap.] How did we even get on this topic, weren't we discussing something else before this?

I've completely forgotten what we were talking about and how it got to this subject.

I think it's time for a new subject because this one is cumbersome and there are better things to talk about!

Well, human food. How are you liking it? I mean we have some shit in common but, there's other stuff too. Like hot dogs and burgers and pizza. I showed you pizza right? If I didn't, I am an ass and we got to fix that right the fuck now.

It's different, but I really like human candy! Especially lollipops. [I wonder why.]

I remember what human pizza looks like, but I have not tried this pizza thing you speak of.

That's our next order of business, you and pizza are going to meet for the first time. Obviously we have to go for classic cheese and pepperoni first. Little burst of flavor to get you started.

You're making me hungry, Dave. If I do not have this pizza by tonight I will be very upset. How dare you put something right under my nose and not let me have it!

Why would I be so cruel? We will have pizza tonight, I swear on it.

You wouldn't! Human food is quite delicious! It makes up for not being able to eat colored chalk.

What else can you put on a pizza? [More like, what can't you put on a pizza?]

More like what can't put on it, is more like it.

What can't you put on it?

Can I put orange creamsicles on it? How about cherries? Lollipops? [You're mostly naming desserts and candies, Terezi.]

On desert pizza, yeah. Normal pizza is meat, veggie, cheese, tomato sauce, etc.

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